Meghan Bowman

 

Go get 'em tiger.

 

It's a sensitive kind of day. So I might say something that I later feel the need to delete.

 

I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. I am affected by other people's mistakes.

I have been super pumped about releasing a new album in a couple of months. I've been super hopeful about it. But then the hard work comes in. The part where you analyze yourself, and let others analyze you. You try to hear the songs the way other people might hear them. But the truth is that's almost impossible. For me it is anyway. When I spend time writing something that is completely an extension of myself, when I experience the whole process of writing it to recording the different instruments, to hearing all the mistakes that were erased or maybe kept (because sometimes mistakes are beautiful!) on that recording, I hear the whole process when I listen to it. Every single time. I hear the entire process. I don't hear it for what it is at the end of the process.

Sometimes it's hard to have faith in yourself, when you don't feel other people having faith in you.

Sometimes you have to fight for something.

Sometimes you have to take a chance.

Sometimes you have to steward the work.

Sometimes you have to be broken in the process. You have to be vulnerable. You have to be ok with the process.

 

A lot of people think it's a stupid time to be a musician. Because there is so much music out there, and it's so accessible. Because so many people are giving away their music for free. Because those that aren't giving away their music for free still only get 60 cents for a song or .0000000001 cents for one stream. Because it's really hard to pay your bills sometimes in music. But some people persevere and they see success and start to be able to pay those bills. Good for them.

How I'm looking at it now is it's a really smart time to be a musician. I could go and get a really sweet degree that used to have job security and benefits, but that really sweet degree and that job isn't as valuable as it was thirty years ago. Our economy is not like it was when our parents were our age. 

It's a really smart time to follow your dreams.

Go get 'em tiger.

 

Happy Birthday to ME!!!!!!!!

Friends. Get ready for cheese.

And when I say cheese... I mean cheese.

....

Sometimes I make a joke before I'm about to get serious. Blame it on my youngest bro who can make light of most things. It truly is a gift. He is truly who you want around when you want to laugh. So I guess I could be the person you want around when you want to cry :)

My famjam has definitely seen tragedy. It felt like for several years, we were in the midst of chaos. We would receive some relief and then something else would knock us on our dairy-airs. 

Somedays I wonder if I know how to live out of chaos. I seem to thrive better in the midst of disaster. It became a skill of mine to "survive"... but what about when the chaos lifts and another disaster doesn't come. How do we not live in fear?

I have started to notice some of my patterns. Not good patterns. 

...

There seems to be repercussions of chaos. Our hearts seem to take a long time to mend. Little kids that know chaos are the most at risk for a broken heart it seems. Never feeling safe. Never feeling covered. Never feeling worthy of security. 

 

I am not in chaos anymore.

It's time to dance.

It's time to sing.

It's time to delight.

It's been a weird year. It has kind of been a lonely year. 

I turned older last week. It was my birthday. I will not told you how old I turned. Time seems to speed up as the years pass. 

 

Here are 40 things I want to do before my next birthday:

1) Complete my music therapy internship.

2) Be healthier than I've ever been.

3) Walk a lot. Walk everywhere.

4) Take my vitamin D.

5) Sleep on it.

6) Love better.

7) Forgive. 

8) Reconcile.

9) Be full of Mercy and Grace.

10) Write more blogs.

11) Write more music.

12) Take in views of the ocean as much as I can while I'm here.

13) Take in views of the prairie sunsets as much as I can while I'm there.

14) Scrape the fear off my soul.

15) Say nice things about people via the internet instead of mean things.

16) Put myself in someone else's shoes as much as I can. What's it like to be in their shoes?

17) Play more shows.

18) Learn how to be better at the business side of things.

19) Stay vulnerable.

20) Stay "innocent".

21) Stay "pure".

22) Love my old dog Hershey before she passes away.

23) Give positive feedback on the reg.

24) Acknowledge the good men in the world.

25) Call my brothers.

26) Tell my mom and dad that I love them.

27) Call Grandma and tell her I love her.

28) Just be my freakin self.

29) And don't apologize for it.

30) Eat some ice cream.

31) Eat some ice cream with friends.

32) Plant a garden.

33) Harvest a garden.

34) Make some jam.

35) Bike 50 km in one day.

36) Don't overuse the word "love".

37) Don't judge.

38) Do be a good steward of what I have. Even if it feels like a little sometimes.

39) Do go moose watching.

40) Be a good friend.

oh and one more...

41) Release a new album.

 

Thanks for reading. I haven't really made this blog public yet. Maybe I will soon. Just feels like a quiet place to write right now. Haha. Write right now. Two right's.... or one write and one right. Whatevs. If my youngest bro were here, he could make that funny.

 

Love.

Meg

Here Comes The Sun!

This year is 1/4 completed. Scary. How did we get so old? 

Scratch that. 

How did I get so old?

 

Currently, I am on the outer edge of a four year degree, about to start my music therapy internship in Regina, Sk.

See ya later alligater. I mean, see ya later Vancouver. It's been a slice.

 

This city is filled with beauty. The natural landscape as well as the happening downtown life. The farm girl in me loved the fast paced atmosphere, yet somedays longed to get lost in nature.... and both options were at my fingertips here.

 

When looking back on a chapter of life, one should notice the hardships as well as the good. I have grown more here than most places I have lived (the exception is the farm I was raised on). The growth that happened was largely to do with just moving away to a place where I didn't really know anyone initially, but also the growth was largely because of the program I was enrolled in.

Music Therapy. What a beauty. When training to be a music therapist, there is no way around your own issues. You need to work that crap out. 

Crap has also gone down here. I am officially a part of a statistic in regards to sexual assault against women. I still have trouble talking about it. Good thing, it's coming out in my songwriting lately. Songwriting always makes me feel cleaner. And more broken all at the same time. 

So in conclusion, this city has been good to me. But my time here is tainted with the bad things that happened here too. 

 

Meghan out.

See ya later January.

Still writing.

Still recording.

 

One of the best things about studying to become a Music Therapist is that music has found more avenues of being therapeutic to me. 

 

Some intense things are coming out through song these days.

 

I wonder if anyone will ever hear them? It's a beautiful thing to write a song and then hide it away. Perhaps, you never even revisit it. 

Songs serve different purposes. Sometimes I'm bad at making songs products. I'm better at making songs serve the purpose of barfing something out. Sorry about the visual.

I hope I get to share this new stuff with you.

 

 

A year in review.

This year has been an important one.

I have been in school studying Music Therapy for the last year and a half. My program is often described as an "intensive" program. This is because if we want to be therapists ourselves, we have to work out our own crap first, so that when we come alongside others we can better help them work out their own stuff. School involves paper after paper, practicum after practicum, personal positions after personal positions, cry session after cry session. Maybe it sounds like I'm complaining but I don't mean too. This program (and profession) is a beautiful one.  

This year has been one of change for me. And change is always hard.

Do you think the world values creativity?

Do you think the world values sensitivity?

 

These have been the questions I have been asking myself lately. I am still searching for answers, as I always will be. 

 

To you and yours, happy new year. I feel like 2014 was a hard year for a lot of people around me. There has been tragedy. There has been death. There has been family division. There has been heartache. There has been selfishness. Car accidents. Separation.

 

There have been glorious moments too and I must take a minute to recognize those. Reconciliation has been a big part of my life this year. I realize what true mercy and forgiveness looks like better than I ever have. I have grown to better understand unconditional love and how freeing that is. I cannot wait to exercise these things more in 2015.

I decided to watch the sun set this evening. The very last sunset of the year. I have learned a new appreciation for Saskatchewan sunsets since moving to BC. Yes, BC has mountains! But Saskatchewan has sunsets.  

As the sky was changing colour I made a resolution for 2015. 

This year I will not be so afraid. 

I see fear all around me. I have been afraid of things at many different times in my life.

I will not be so afraid of what others think of me.

I will not be afraid of the end of things. Because the end is what makes the journey so precious. Hence, I will enjoy the moment more.

I will not be afraid of death. Life is short. Let's live it.

 

Happy new year. Be safe.

 

 

 

B

Movies.

Family.

Chocolate. 

Writing.

Walking.

My doggies. 

 

I love Christmas. This may be my last "Christmas break" from school so I'm going to make it count!

I have written and demoed several songs this week. I was compiling them all together to see if I had enough content for a new album and I realized every single one song started with a Bb chord or a bm chord. Awesome. Or not. We'll see. 

Blessings.  

welcome to my hiding place.

Happy December! And thank you for finding this site. 

I am currently studying Music Therapy and I am in the middle of final exam time. I should be studying.... or practicing guitar for jury but instead I am building a website. Awesome. 

I have been taking it easy on the playing shows circuit but as soon as I'm done my degree I will pick things up again. Isn't that funny - I made a record and went straight to school and as soon as I'm done school I am going to make another record? I have always done things in a weird order. 

I have been writing and recording a lot. I have been running the soundboard at different events in Vancouver. Yes, I am a girl. Yes, I can run a soundboard. That may sound a little intense but I have run into sexist remarks several times in the last year due to me standing behind a soundboard.... it's sad but just drives me to keep doing it and get better at it.

That brings me to my last point. I like to play shows and write music that doesn't compromise who I am. You don't have to like it. But you sure have a pair if you support artists who do the same. I have been watching the music scene my whole life and I just don't fit. But that's ok.... I have come to the realization that I don't have too. It's just me. Like it. Or don't. Say nice things. Or say mean things. I can take it. Maybe. 

But in all seriousness. Thanks for reading this. You rock. More soon. 

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