Happy Birthday to ME!!!!!!!!

Friends. Get ready for cheese.

And when I say cheese... I mean cheese.


Sometimes I make a joke before I'm about to get serious. Blame it on my youngest bro who can make light of most things. It truly is a gift. He is truly who you want around when you want to laugh. So I guess I could be the person you want around when you want to cry :)

My famjam has definitely seen tragedy. It felt like for several years, we were in the midst of chaos. We would receive some relief and then something else would knock us on our dairy-airs. 

Somedays I wonder if I know how to live out of chaos. I seem to thrive better in the midst of disaster. It became a skill of mine to "survive"... but what about when the chaos lifts and another disaster doesn't come. How do we not live in fear?

I have started to notice some of my patterns. Not good patterns. 


There seems to be repercussions of chaos. Our hearts seem to take a long time to mend. Little kids that know chaos are the most at risk for a broken heart it seems. Never feeling safe. Never feeling covered. Never feeling worthy of security. 


I am not in chaos anymore.

It's time to dance.

It's time to sing.

It's time to delight.

It's been a weird year. It has kind of been a lonely year. 

I turned older last week. It was my birthday. I will not told you how old I turned. Time seems to speed up as the years pass. 


Here are 40 things I want to do before my next birthday:

1) Complete my music therapy internship.

2) Be healthier than I've ever been.

3) Walk a lot. Walk everywhere.

4) Take my vitamin D.

5) Sleep on it.

6) Love better.

7) Forgive. 

8) Reconcile.

9) Be full of Mercy and Grace.

10) Write more blogs.

11) Write more music.

12) Take in views of the ocean as much as I can while I'm here.

13) Take in views of the prairie sunsets as much as I can while I'm there.

14) Scrape the fear off my soul.

15) Say nice things about people via the internet instead of mean things.

16) Put myself in someone else's shoes as much as I can. What's it like to be in their shoes?

17) Play more shows.

18) Learn how to be better at the business side of things.

19) Stay vulnerable.

20) Stay "innocent".

21) Stay "pure".

22) Love my old dog Hershey before she passes away.

23) Give positive feedback on the reg.

24) Acknowledge the good men in the world.

25) Call my brothers.

26) Tell my mom and dad that I love them.

27) Call Grandma and tell her I love her.

28) Just be my freakin self.

29) And don't apologize for it.

30) Eat some ice cream.

31) Eat some ice cream with friends.

32) Plant a garden.

33) Harvest a garden.

34) Make some jam.

35) Bike 50 km in one day.

36) Don't overuse the word "love".

37) Don't judge.

38) Do be a good steward of what I have. Even if it feels like a little sometimes.

39) Do go moose watching.

40) Be a good friend.

oh and one more...

41) Release a new album.


Thanks for reading. I haven't really made this blog public yet. Maybe I will soon. Just feels like a quiet place to write right now. Haha. Write right now. Two right's.... or one write and one right. Whatevs. If my youngest bro was here, he could make that funny.




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