A blog about hateful comments and losing followers.

I'm not really sure how to write this post. I have been trying to write something like this for the past few months, but I always press "delete" instead of "publish". 


I'm not sure if I should be light-hearted or really really honest about what is happening in my heart at the moment. I'm not sure if it'll be too much for people. I have often felt like I can be "too much". 


I have spent the past 3 years learning how to be open and honest and vulnerable in my day to day life, as well as on social media. I am at the point though, where I am calculating the cost. Is it worth it? It's a difficult thing to put your honest self out there... to find so much crtisicim and rejection. Rejection sucks. Am I right? it just does. We often get really angry and hateful when we've been rejected. It lessens the blow it seems, when you can aim your rejection at someone else. Maybe you can even find someone else to reject. But it takes way more guts to actually feel the hurt, admit the pain and then move on, putting the pieces back together. 


Ok let's get to it.


What really inspired this post, is a comment I received this morning on one of my YouTube videos. I'm not going to tell you it word for word - it was quite colourful. But it was something about how I should get off of my ****** *** and actually contribute to society. 


I'm not going to give you any context for what this comment was aimed at, and I'm not going to explain it much further.


I shut off my phone, immediately upon reading these words that a stranger directed at me, I put my head in my hands for a second and just felt that rush go through my body. Does anyone else ever feel that? It's kind of exhausting. Sometimes this feeling feels like it could knock me out. Sometimes I'm simply in my car when I feel it, and I have to just put my hand on my heart for a sec and tell myself I'm ok. 


How did we get here? Why do we treat people like this? I love the internet, I really do. I know it has benefited my life. But it has also created this really ugly part of society, where we feel the need to tell someone, when we don't like them.


Some of you may be thinking, this comment was isolated. No it wasn't. The more I put myself out there - the more this happens.


But the more I have put myself out there, the more people have appreciated it too. I have had people from all corners of the world send me an email to tell me about something I did that they really liked.


Thank you to those people. That has been a cool part about all this. 


I'm feeling exhausted suddenly so will write the "losing followers" portion later. For now, let's just agree to continue trying to learn how to like ourselves. That's really the only way to deal with stuff like this. And also, let's learn how to tell someone we appreciate what they do, when we feel that way.